Absorb Vitamins Better better is the only reason i’m not currently faceplanting into my cold pizza right now, its november 7 2025 and chicago is trying to freeze my soul through the drafty window. i’m in my gross apartment, one sock has a hole, just smashed an entire avocado with my magnesium because last month i was a literal zombie spending hundreds on pills that did absolutely nothing but make expensive pee. like i’d take them all fasted with my giant iced coffee because some wellness bro on instagram said it was optimal, then wonder why by noon i felt like death warmed over. turns out my body was straight up rejecting everything.
why absorbing vitamins better is basically my religion now (i had a breakdown in target)
remember when i thought popping supplements was like cheating life? yeah no they dont work if youre treating your gut like a garbage disposal. i used to down like 10-15 pills every morning on empty stomach, chase with cold brew, then crash so hard i’d fall asleep on the bus and end up in some random neighborhood. super embarrassing, woke up once in evanston like what the hell. anyway my doctor finally tested my blood and it was tragic—vitamin d at like 11, iron nonexistent, i was basically a walking deficiency meme.
blew my mind when i found out fat soluble (A D E K) literally NEED fat to better or they just yeet right through you. learned this crying in the target parking lot after dropping $90 on stuff that wasnt working.
combos that actually stopped me from feeling like a corpse
these legit changed shit for me, no cap:
- fat plus those fat soluble ones = game changer. started putting olive oil or butter on literally everything. my skin isnt cracking anymore??
- vitamin c with plant iron = bye bye dizziness. throw oranges in my spinach smoothie that tastes like lawn clippings but whatever
- black pepper with turmeric in my scrambled eggs, joints dont crunch like breakfast cereal now
- moved my d3 to dinner time because morning was dumb
but wait sometimes i still take everything with coffee and feel fine??? idk man science is confusing
my gut was more wrecked than my credit score
real talk: i destroyed my microbiome with antibiotics and late night taco bell runs for like 9 months. nothing was absorbing, i was just an overpriced urine factory. started shoving sauerkraut and yogurt in my face like a feral animal, made my own kombucha once and it exploded all over the kitchen. but two weeks later? regular poops, energy that doesnt crash at 2pm, actually absorbing vitamins better instead of wasting money.
dumbest mistakes i’ve made dont be me
- mixing calcium and iron they cancel each other out like exes at a party
- taking massive doses because more must be better (hello random nausea and heart racing at 3am)
- coffee with everything always (tannins block absorption apparently who knew)
- thinking “liposomal” meant i could skip food (nope still need the fat dumbass)
[Insert Image Placeholder 3: selfie mid bite of gross iron c combo, tears streaming, thumbs up but dead inside]
okay but maybe all this is bullshit???
like seriously my roommate takes everything fasted and swears Absorb Vitamins Better: shes fine and glowing??? and sometimes i forget the rules and still have energy??? maybe its all placebo or maybe were just vibing until we croak.better or flush em idc anymore lol. anyway anyway.
just try one thing okay? add oil to your damn salad. eat some fermented crap Absorb Vitamins Better:. tell me if you feel less like garbage or if im just rambling. comment or whatever i’m bored and its friday night in chicago and im alone with my supplements.
(real links cuz im not completely making shit up: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/why-your-vitamins-might-not-be-working-202108162071 and this one https://healthycell.com/blogs/articles/increase-vitamin-and-mineral-absorption)
if you want me to actually make those four cursed images real just say go and i’ll generate them high res no problem.
